Of course! The one night my house is trashed my mother stops by for a few minutes. I love my mom, but sometimes I feel like if my house isn’t cleaned completely or my dogs bark constantly then I feel like she looks down on me, like I’m a bad parent.
“I’m sorry that I’m not like you mom”
I really want to say that to her sometimes, but I love her too much to say something like that. ”
Every parent is different, I can not be like you”
Just because you are a mom doesn’t mean you know exactly what I am going though, because you don’t no one does.
I’m sorry for the rant. So here’s what’s going on. My oldest Brandon is sick, not eating, drinking little, & a temperature that is jumping back & forth from normal to fever. My husband is in his moods where he needs to work with his hands. Right now that means boarding up under our bed. Which is great because that means my big dog that thinks he’s a small dog can’t go under our bed anymore. But because of this I have been helping my husband get this done instead of cleaning the house, like I always do after dinner. I didn’t even put dinner away yet.
So when my mom called me to say ask if she could bring Gatorade & cake over after my stepdad’s surprise birthday dinner, I was freaking out inside. So her & my step brother came in & I instantly felt the disappointment she felt for me.
Toys on the floor, from when my husband dumped them out to use the kid shopping carts there were in, clothes on the chair, from doing laundry today but not folding them, so I could play, cuddle, feed, & help my kids & husband, & a kitchen filled with vacuum cleaners(on stand by cleaning wood debris in my bedroom), dirty dishes from dinner, as well as dinner still on the stove. Not to mention clean dishes in the strainer, drying from when I did dishes earlier today. Weekend are not my cleaning days. I have 3 kids & a husband who works often. When we are all home I do what I’m able to.
Mom, I am sorry if you are reading this. I love you so much & I always will. But this is what I am feeling right now. Please don’t judge me for this.
I have been doing really good with keeping my house clean, but today is not one of those days.
Any other parents feel like this sometimes? It sucks. I wish my house could be cleaned all the time but with 3 kids under 5, 3 dogs, & a husband who constantly works to make sure we can pay bills, it’s a challenge.
Until Next Time…(I don’t know)…clean?